A. D. 2019: The Week of November 17th to 23rd

This past Sunday, Darlene and I attended Rodney Skyles’ class. Rodney taught a lesson from Matthew 17:24-18:11, he named the lesson: “Offenses and Humility.” Rodney is the director of operations for 89.5 KVNE Christian Radio for Tyler and Longview, Texas.  He made an announcement in class that interested me greatly because my heart has been lead to Spanish speaking people in missions; therefore, I am actively learning the Spanish language. The announcement is that KVNE would be launching two new Christian radio stations, one of which is a Spanish station (102.3 FM). The station is scheduled to go live in January. This brings me to the reason I am learning Spanish.

Why Learn Spanish?

Spanish is the heart language of 450 million people world wide, 5.85% of the world population. In the U.S.A., Spanish is the heart language of 41 million people, 13% of the population. Spanish is the heart language of 1 in 8 persons in the U.S.A. A heart language, is the language that you grew up hearing and speaking as a child. It is the language that is most effective in reaching your heart. Mandarin is the #1 spoken language in the world but it is isolated; Mandarin is the official language in China, Taiwan and Singapore. Spanish is the #2 most spoke language world wide; however, it is not isolated, Spanish is the official language of 21 countries world wide and the first language of 1 in 8 persons in the U.S.A. English is the #3 most spoken language world wide. English is the heart language of 360 million people world wide, 5.52% of the world population. If English speaking christians like myself learn Spanish, they can double the number of people that they can communicate the gospel with. (Statistics, Babbel.com) 

Following corporate worship service we ate together as a church body, a Thanksgiving dinner. There is a regular attender of our church, La Señora Effe. Effe is the mother of one of the members at Sylvania Church.  Since starting Spanish lessons and memorizing the prolog to Gospel of John in Spanish, I haven’t actually attempted to speak to a Spanish only speaking person. Inspired by Rodney’s announcement, I saw Effe sitting three chairs down from where I was, so I decide to go talk with her. We were actually able to communicate and I recited the first 5 versus of John’s Gospel. She recited Psalm 23 for me and gave me this book mark. What a wonderful time of fellowship the Father gives us in the Word, when the barrier of language is taken down. I spent the remaining afternoon doing Spanish lessons.

This week turned out to be much more difficult than I expected. I have been praying daily for God to make me patient and kind; to keep from bragging, being arrogant or rude; to keep me from seeking my own way; to keep me from taking into account wrongs suffered; to keep me from rejoicing in unrighteousness but to rejoice only with the truth; to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things and endure all things. It seems that the more I ask for this, the more difficult it becomes.

I was away from my normal location on Monday, at the Lake Palestine clinic, and I had an enjoyable day with the patients but isolated from the other staff members. On Tuesday, I had the day off work and I took our dog Mishka for a ride. On Thursday morning, right after I had prayed for these attributes, I was shown how far from them my love actually is. I was eating breakfast and doing my Spanish lesson, our daughter Bethany had departed for her job when she came back in the door and impatiently requested that I help her with a flat tire. I had to fix her flat tire and was angry because my morning had been disturbed, I had to stop my breakfast and repair her flat tire, which made me late for my job. I also strained my back while fixing her flat tire, probably because I was so tense while doing so. I had read that morning the words of Christ from Matthew 7:12

In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

I was scheduled to work from 7:30am to 6:30pm but arrived 1 hour late. Then, the man I had substituted for in Palestine sent me a text message that indicated that he was not satisfied with the work I had done on Monday. I spent the majority of the day feeling depressed and my back was aching, but one of my coworkers (Amanda) demonstrated kindness towards me, she offered to stay and close the department in my place. Friday morning I did not have to be at work until 10:00am. Despite my back feeling tight, I decide to go for a run; I completed the run but was very slow and felt fatigued. Just before departing, I saw Bethany in the hallway and said to her: “Bethany, are you about to leave.” She replied in a forceful manner: “I DON’T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO YOU.” This hurt my feelings. I had changed my prayer just before this occurred from the attributes that I had mentioned earlier, to Matthew 7:12 asking God to grant it to me to treat people the same way that I want them to treat me. The reason that I spoke to Bethany, was because I wanted to know if I should leave the garage door open because I was departing for my run and didn’t want to close it if she was about to leave. Feeling hurt by her words, I didn’t speak for fear that I may speak harshly, so I turned down the hall and went for a run.

I will continue to ask the Father to grant me these attributes of love and grant me to treat all people the same way that I want them to treat me. I’m tired but cannot do anything about what others think, say and do; however, I can think good thoughts about them, I can say kind words to them and I can show them kindness with my deeds as Amanda did to me. This is the way that I want to live in the here and now and will be seeking to do so with the help of God.

On Saturday morning, I ambulated patients on the 3rd floor of the heart hospital, which happened to be the unit I spent the majority of my nursing career on as a CVICU nurse. The unit has changed a great deal from when I first started there 18 years ago, they now have a mixture of ICU and post surgical telemetry patients, the latter are whom I was ambulating. Darlene spent Friday night visiting her mother and sister. When she got home she wanted to go and see the movie: “A Beautiful day in the Neighborhood.” Seeing that movie was like putting a bookend on the shelf of this week. I am seeking to be like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ already in this present age and I know that all whom the Father elected for eternal life will be like Jesus in the age to come.

A. D. 2019: The Week of November 10th to November 16th

This is my blog and the things that I write about are mine. My thoughts, just like everything else that I have, were given to me by the Lord God Almighty; therefore, he alone is worthy of all honor, glory and praise. When someone says to me, “Well I guess I’ll live,” as my patients often respond when I’ve taken their vital signs and reported to them the result. I like to contour: “At least for another 6 minutes.” Reader, that you may know how frail you are, you have only 6 minutes to live after every heart beat. If you do not receive another heart beat you will be irrevocably dead within 6 minutes. Some people are kept alive through Cardio-pulmonary resuscitation, that is if CPR is started before the 6 minute life window closes; however, just as receiving a heart beat is a gift, CPR does not originate from the one being resuscitated.

This week I started reading the book of Genesis and read through chapter 36. I recited chapters 1-7 from the gospel of John in English, and I have memorized through verse 9 in Spanish. It is my goal to memorize the entire prolog of John’s gospel in Spanish. There is some debate among biblical scholars as to whether the prolog ends after verse 14 or continues on to verse 18, 1-18 is the traditional view; therefore,  Lord willing, I shall memorize through verse 18. This means, I reached the halfway point of my goal.

I love our local church, Sylvania in Tyler, Texas, and the people in our local church. Darlene and I have been attending a Sunday morning bible class that I truly enjoy, but the class numbers are very high while some of the other classes do not have anywhere near the same numbers. Therefore, Darlene and I decided to visit some of the other classes for a season: That we may fellowship with the other brethren in our local church. That we may also alleviate the attendance of that class while adding to the attendance in the other classes.  This Sunday we visited Steve Mill’s class. Steve is one of six elders at Sylvania church. Steve taught on the resurrection from Matthew 28:1-15. Then in corporate worship, Phillip Dancy preached: “Do not worry about your life” from Luke 12:13-34. The sermon can be heard on sermon audio. We enjoyed a warm day on Sunday afternoon; therefore, I cleaned the windows on the exterior of our home. I also insulted the outdoor pipes because we were expecting a deep freeze in the coming days.

On Monday, our nation celebrated veteran’s day. It has become vogue in the past few years for people to recognize veterans but this has also lead to a hyper-association with being a veteran. A few years ago, I wrote an article: “War: A Christian Response” in which I talked about my experience in the Army and my study about a Christian response to war after becoming a follower of Christ. Suffice it to say, what I said in that article is not vogue but I will repost it to my social media accounts every veteran’s day in hope that others listen.

Everyday this week Darlene and I worked at our jobs from early morning until sometime between 4:00pm and 6:30pm. On Tuesday, I got off work at the earlier; therefore, I stopped by Darlene’s job to see her, then we meet at home for what we thought would be a relaxing evening when we got a phone call from Bethany. She had run out of gas and was stuck on the side of the road halfway between Palestine and Jacksonville, Texas. We grabbed the gas can and drove the 40 minutes it took on country roads to get to her location. After putting gas into her tank I discovered that she had drained her battery while sitting on the side of the road; therefore, the car would not start. We then had to drive back to Jacksonville (about 15 miles), purchase jumper cables, drive back to her car and jump the car off so that it would start.

There are many things that I pray about during the week but I will mention this one. This week I have been asking the Father to grant me Christ like love for others. I am actively learning Spanish but the scripture says,

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Cor. 13:1, NLT) 

I received a master’s degree in Theological Studies from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary verifying that I know a great deal about the scriptures, church history, systematic theology and practical theology. I am teaching these to others in the mission field but the scripture says,

If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. (vs. 13:2)

I give a significant portion of my income away every month but the scripture says,

If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. (vs. 13:3)

How do I know that I do not have Christ like love? The word of God is light for my feet; therefore, the word of God in 1 Corinthians 13:8-10 gives the answer. Am I always patient and kind?  I must confess, not all of the time. Am I jealous or boastful or proud or rude? I must confess, that I am these more often that I want to admit. Am I irritable and do I take into account wrongs suffered? I must confess, I am often irritable and do take into account wrongs suffered. Do I always rejoice with the truth? This is a difficult one, but I must confess, my pride allows others to believe untruths. Do I never give up? Do I never lose faith? Am I always hopeful? Do I endure through every circumstance? No, my love is not what it ought to be but I know that Christ's love is perfect and he demonstrated his love for me by dying on the cross for my sins; therefore, I desire to be just like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

November 3rd to November 9th, 2019

(Overlooking the River at Beavers Bend on Sunday Morning)

A blog is a regularly updated webpage written by an individual in a conversational style; therefore I decided that I should write the nurse theologian retrospective of my thoughts, struggles and actions over the previous week. During the past week I read two books: “The law/Grace Controversy” by John G. Reisinger and “The Sovereignty of God” by Author W. Pink. For some, the distinction between law and grace is a struggle and others do not think much of these things.  The “Ten Commandments,” given to the nation of Israel, recorded in Exodus 20 and repeated in Deuteronomy 5, was the covenant foundation by which the nation of Israel entered into a relationship with the Lord God but it is not the covenantal foundation for the church. The covenantal foundation for the life of the church is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

(My Mother hiking to the overlook)

On Saturday morning I picked up a Bible translation from my shelf that I have not read in awhile. On December 27th of this year I will celebrate a 10 year anniversary of making a decision to follow Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. The Bible that I picked up off my shelf and began reading was the very Bible that I was reading when I was regenerated by the Holy Spirit. The translation is the New
Living Translation, which is an easier to understand translation than the NASB that I have been reading for the past few years. I picked this text up because I was struggling with the doctrine of the sovereignty of God in reprobation. I think that Romans 9:18 is the most difficult text in all of Scripture. In the NASB the text says,

So then He [God] has mercy on whom He [God] desires, and He [God] hardens whom He desires. 

(Our daughter Bethany and dog Mishka)

So, I turned to the NLT which I thought would tread more lightly  on the matter, and the text says,

“So you see, God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen.” 

When I decided to follow Jesus Christ I was determined (like Martin Luther) for my conscience to be held captive to the Word of God. Therefore, I came to except that the reason I made a decision to follow Jesus as Lord and Savior was because the Father had chosen me in Christ before he made the world to be holy and without fault in his eyes, to adopt me into his own household by bringing me to himself through Jesus Christ. (Eph.1:4-5)

(My Saturday Morning Run)

Therefore, I believed in the sovereignty of God in my salvation, that God shows mercy to whom he chooses and shows compassion to whom he chooses. (Rom.9:15) However, I am coming to understand that God is not only sovereign in salvation but he is also sovereign in reprobation. The first 1/2 of Romans 9:18 says what I already believed, that God chooses to show mercy to some but the second 1/2 of that verse is what I find to be difficult. God chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen. This verse is saying that the hardening of the hearts of unbelievers is not inactive on the part of God, he actually chooses to harden their hearts so that they refuse to listen. John’s gospel says the same thing regarding those who refused to come to faith in Christ. In 12:40 He quotes Isaiah:

The Lord has blinded their eyes
and hardened their hearts—
so that their eyes cannot see,
and their hearts cannot understand,
and they cannot turn to me
and have me heal them.

Almost 10 years ago I decided to follow Jesus Christ whose title is “the Word of God” (Rev.19:13) and I determined (like Martin Luther) for my conscience to be held captive to the Word of God. The Word of God says that God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so that they refuse to Listen. Therefore, I must except what the Word of God says but must admit that the sovereignty of God in the reprobation of the accursed is a difficult doctrine.

A. D. 2019, 10/27 – 11/02

Last week I wrote that I would begin journaling retrospective of the past week; however, I now believe that doing so may be more difficult than I previous envisioned. Some things that happen during the week are very embarrassing to me, but if I’m to do this to the glory of God in Jesus Christ and the good of my neighbor I must be vulnerable.

During my personal devotional time I read: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1^st& 2^ndThessalonians, and 1^st& 2^ndTimothy. I do not typically read that many books of the Bible in a week, but I love reading the Pauline epistles because they speak so well to the trials that go on in everyday Christian life. In my recitation practice of John, I recited chapters 8-14; and in my attempt to memorize John’s prolog in Spanish, I have memorized though verse 6.

Five times this week I ran in the morning for a total distance of about 27 miles. I used to run many road races when I was younger but do not run them anymore; however, in March, I ran in the Tyler Fresh 15k. I have it in my sight (Lord willing) to do so again in 2020; therefore, I am running 4 of my runs each week at my goal pace for the 15K (just under 7:30 per mile) but ½ the distance, and I’m running 1 run per week, on Sunday morning, over the full 15K distance but at an easy pace. This past Sunday morning I began running in the dark at 6:45AM. Since I began running in the dark, my eyes were adjusted to it. When I had completed my first 2 miles, dawn began to crack on the horizon. I could see everything very well, or at least, I thought that I could. Suddenly a car came over the hill before me, everything else turned dark except for the headlights of that car. Being that it is my daily habit to recite John’s gospel and that I’m attempting to memorize the prolog in Spanish, the words: “The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” (Jn. 1:4) Came to my mind. It then occurred to me, in comparison to the light of the Word of God, what we think is light in this world is actually darkness. 

There are many things that occur throughout the week that I could write about, but I will just mention the three most prominent: First, a confession of sin. Recently I wrote a report on the history of the Reformed Baptist in a particular country that I traveled to, as well as a report on the trip. I sent my report to the missions’ team at my church, as well as a few trusted members who I call friend. The response to what I wrote was almost non-existent. I felt hurt that the mission and project that I spent a great deal of time on was not acknowledged. I must confess that I felt resentment. I am not saying this to speak against anyone, but I should confess my sin. Second a difficulty. I am a very introverted person; therefore, I am uncomfortable with close contact except for my wife; also, like many men, I struggle with a temptation to lust. We had an in-service at work mid-week in which I was put into a VERY uncomfortable position regarding both of these.

There are many things that occur throughout the week that I could write about, but I will just mention the three most prominent: First, a confession of sin. Recently I wrote a report on the history of the Reformed Baptist in a particular country that I traveled to, as well as a report on the trip. I sent my report to the missions’ team at my church, as well as a few trusted members who I call friend. The response to what I wrote was almost non-existent. I felt hurt that the mission and project that I spent a great deal of time on was not acknowledged. I must confess that I felt resentment. I am not saying this to speak against anyone, but I should confess my sin. Second a difficulty. I am a very introverted person; therefore, I am uncomfortable with close contact with anyone, for any reason except for my wife; also, like many men, I struggle with a temptation to lust. We had an in-service at work mid-week in which I was put into a VERY uncomfortable position regarding both of these. Finally, going to Beavers Bend in south eastern Oklahoma in the fall was an annual trip for my family. We would take the kids, meet my parents, my siblings and their families; however, since my father’s passing over 5 years-ago I have not gone, but my mother, siblings and my daughter have continued to go. This year, none of my siblings were able to go because of the life stage that they are in with teenage children and school activities in the fall. My 76-year-old mother was going by herself, except for my daughter who had to depart at noon on Saturday; therefore, Saturday morning, I packed up my bag and went. I spent the day with my mother alone, something that I have avoided doing since my father’s death. 

These are merely the simple thoughts, actions, struggles and pictures of a middle-aged Christian man; who works as a Registered Nurse in an outpatient Cardiac/Pulmonary rehab; who continually studies the Bible, church history, systematic theology and practical theology; who travels overseas 3-4 times a year to teach pastors.